So it’s been a while because it was an emotional couple of days for me prior to finding out the genetic test results.

I talked about my negative thoughts throughout the process and they just completely engulfed me waiting for these results. I couldn’t stop thinking about the worst case scenarios and just knew we were going to have all 4 embryos come back genetically abnormal.

Well having these thoughts and then throwing in two 1st birthday parties is a huge mental and emotional fuck! We had a 1st bday on Friday night and of course got asked once when we plan on having kids. I’ve learned to ignore the question and let me husband take that one on 🙂

Then Saturday, May 7th we were supposed to find out the results and then go to another 1st birthday. Well that call never came and it drove me absolutely insane. So I sucked up my emotionally a mess self and went to the party. I was surrounded by kids all day and tried to stay in the opposite room from them as much as possible, but it’s just not possible.

Then my ex boyfriend, who just got married in October tells me him and his wife are pregnant. Yaay so excited for you, let me chug my wine on the side of the house and cry by myself. Yup, that’s what I did!

But it gets better…my good friend (whose daughters 1st birthday we were at and is also 4 months pregnant!) and the ex’s wife start talking about getting their sonograms and hearing the baby’s heartbeat and blah blah blah. And my friend puts her arm around me to bring me into the conversation, yup like I want to hear this right now when you know what I’m going through. So now I’m crying in the bathroom and still chugging wine. I’m miserable but trying to stick it out.

My husband, being the amazing, supportive husband that he is helped to calm me down and get through the night. Then Sunday comes and its Mother’s Day…yay Mother’s Day where all social media is full of babies, kids and mothers and everything I don’t have, everything I want and everything I am not. And still no results. So I email my IVF nurse letting her know I’m about to go insane and any insight on when we may hear the results would help.

Finally, Monday comes and I get an email that we should be hearing good news from the Laboratory shortly. Ok, good news, I can take good news!

Finaly, the results. Of the 4 embryos we had tested, 2 were normal. 50% isn’t bad, but that means we only have 3 total embryos. Again, not the numbers that we wanted, but we need to celebrate the successes, no matter how small and even if it’s not what we were hoping for. 3 is better than 0 and something we can work with!

So finally…we can move onto the transfer stage of this process and I can’t wait!