So 4 embryos made it to blastocyst stage. I haven’t written because I’ve been very upset with this #. I know we should be happy, but I was just thinking we’d have more after getting 5 more eggs this than the first time. I know it’s not about quantity, but quality but obviously you have to think the odds are better when you have more. After getting 1 of 5 last time, I’m terrified about this time.

So the first time we had 5, 4 came back abnormal and 1 came back with no genetic DNA read. So it was re-tested. We were told not to get our hopes up because it would likely also be abnormal since all its brothers and sisters were. But it actually came back viable and ok! This was a HUGE happy shock to us! However, the doctors still don’t have as much confidence in it because of the no DNA read the first time. So although we had that one, we wanted to go through this again so that we could have more embryos for a 2nd child and in the case that 1 transfer isn’t enough for me to get pregnant the first time.

So now we’re down to 4 and I have been an emotional wreck! The drop in estrogen has completely messed with my body and my emotional state. I week post retrieval I was in a pretty bad depression. I don’t think doctors or women talk about this challenge as much as they should. If I didn’t go through it the first time and tell my nurse I wouldn’t have been as prepared for this time. And this time was WAY worse! For 5 days I was bad. Like can’t stop crying for no reason, only thinking of a negative outcome, moody and a complete bitch to my husband. He couldn’t do anything right. Ask me how I am and I don’t want to talk about it, don’t ask me and you don’t care type of crazy. I felt so bad for him. On Sunday night I finally wrote him and email to tell him how I feel and that I know I’m a crazy, emotional bitch buy I can’t control it and I just want to get back to normal. I’m glad I could recognize this depression in myself and know that it will go away.

Like I said, I don’t think women talk to their IVF Doctor about this and should. They prescribed me with a metho-folate which helps in hormonal embalances and leveling you out. I also had a estrogen patch and then started birth control to give my body a regular dose of estrogen daily. It has helped, but those 5 days were miserable!!

We got the call from Ivogen today to get payment which means hat the results should be coming tomorrow or Saturday. Praying for good news, especially with 2 one year old birthday parties this weekend and Mother’s Day. If it’s bad news I don’t think I’ll be able to deal with any of that!

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